"I Serve a Merciful God"
Ed Cried Out, and God Set His Feet Upon a Rock
Ed never touched any kind of drug until he was 50 years old. And then, in just 18 months, his sudden addiction destroyed a 30-year career and a 28-year marriage.
He had a beautiful home, a loving family, and a very successful career in the tire industry. But it was a very stressful job. He also had serious health problems kick up along with some unresolved childhood trauma that was resurfacing, and he was burnt out. One day, one of his co-workers offered him something to help him relax. Ed took his first ever hit of a drug and said, “Where have you been all my life.”
He gave his wife and daughter the house and made sure they had enough money. Then, he spent everything else he had on drugs. He was stuck in active addiction for 18 months. It ruined his life.
Ed was born in Italy. His father was an Army Officer, and his family moved every few years. Tragically, Ed’s childhood was wracked with physical and mental abuse, creating trauma that would stay with him for the rest of his life.
After graduating from Bishop-Canevin High School, he went to college at Wheeling University. A few years later, the owner of a local, independent tire company took him under his wing and taught him the business from the ground up. Eventually, Ed was running the whole business. He expanded the company from 6 locations when he started working there to 23 locations by the time it was sold to a national chain.
After his initial, 18-month burst of drug abuse, he got clean and stayed clean for 12 years. He worked odd jobs and sustained his recovery even though he never fully worked the steps. “I thought I was connected with a God of my understanding,” he remembered. “But I never really gave my will over to Christ.”
He relapsed in 2019 and then again in 2021. “2021 was a disastrous year,” he explained. “I was in a pit. I cried out to God. I just wanted to deaden my pain and forget.”
He wanted to die. He went on a bender with the intention of blowing out his heart, and he ended up in the hospital for several weeks on suicide watch.
When he got out of the hospital, he came to City Mission, and it was difficult at first. “I had no idea what to expect,” he admitted. And his past abuse bubbled to the surface yet again. “All men spooked me,” he said. His father had abused him for six years, so living in a men’s shelter was very challenging.
“But what I found here when I came was an extremely organized program,” he added. “And the building is cleaner than most hospital rooms. Being here isn’t a consequence like I had originally thought. It’s a blessing. I’m overwhelmed with everybody on staff. They all know the Scriptures so well. It’s unfathomable to me at times. The staff here has been instrumental in helping me shape my understanding of the Bible and my relationship with God.”
“Before I came to the Mission, I had no money,” he explained. “I was spiritually void. I had no place to live. I had suicidal thoughts, and I was taking the cowardly way out by using. But the best decision God made for me is when he directed me here. I know now that I can’t live by my will anymore. I have to live in God’s will. And I profess that in my life.”
At City Mission, Ed has turned his life around. He realized the importance of giving back. “The guys who are successful in this program are good at giving back,” he said. “I want to be of service and give back what the Mission has given to me.”
Ed has become our librarian at the City Mission Library in Memory of Saige Knapp, where he keeps the books organized and manages the lending and return of books. “It’s wonderful,” Ed said of his time at the library. “The Mission trusts me to keep everything organized. And it’s quiet here. It can get noisy upstairs in the dorms. A little peace and quiet is a really important thing.”
At City Mission, Ed found mercy, grace, and forgiveness. And now, he wants nothing more than to extend that mercy, grace, and forgiveness to others. “It’s not a punishing God that I serve,” Ed explained. “I serve a merciful God.”
You can help Ed and others like him experience the love and mercy of Christ. You can help them transform their lives. Visit www.citymission.org to learn more.